The One And Only: 1994 Benzillac Convertible!
I recently heard the term “meatball sundae” to describe two things that are great on their own, but unappetizing when mixed together. I think today’s car qualifies. Find this unholy mashup here on craigslist in Portland, Oregon. “Benzillac” sounds like medicine that would induce illness… Either way, you cannot unsee this car. Now, plenty of 1960 Caddys suffered a worse fate in the crusher, or got turned into man-cave furniture. And there’s nothing wrong with a nice 320SL convertible, except you don’t stand out in a crowd. Well, problem solved! Someone had a dream, and here it is. Kind of a mullet Batmobile: business up front, wings in the back. One thing is for sure, with 220K miles on it, the owner is not shy about driving their creation. At least they could have painted it classic Caddy pink. This yogurt-yellow-over-champagne palette is subdued, and there’s no need to be subtle when you’re screaming “LOOK AT ME”!
To be fair, the build quality does look excellent, and expensive. And this badge that was ordered on eBay, or pried off some grandma’s Buick, has never been more accurate. At least they don’t claim it’s “one of none”. I could feel more empathy for this project if it turned up for sale later in the summer. Because that means it was someone’s way of spending quarantine so they didn’t go mad. If you can’t leave the house, and all you have is a welder and these two cars, put the whiskey down and have at it. But this thing was professionally built some time ago, with intention.
Now you may say I’m being hard on someone’s labor of love, and I am. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I suspect that while the car is certainly… definitely… unfortunately real, the ad feels scammy to me. I’ve heard that since craigslist started charging $5.00 to post cars, the scam ads have disappeared, but the copy provides little more detail than “Most custom & fun car for the $’s. Best buy of today’s down cycle!” It’s devoid of any practical, useful, or entertaining information a buyer might want. Some of you are asking why? I am wondering who commissioned this project. A retired dry cleaner in a lavender mood? The multi-level marketing champion of Multnomah county? The Count from Sesame Street?
What do you think: thumbs up or thumbs down. Would you rock this Benzillac… and would you wear a cape while doing it?
Auctions Ending Soon
2006 Ford Mustang Saleen S281 SCBid Now3 hours$16,000
2002 Subaru Impreza WRXBid Now3 days$333
1975 Chevrolet Corvette ConvertibleBid Now3 days$3,000
1964 Ford F-100 Camper CustomBid Now3 days$2,000
2006 Jeep Wrangler SportBid Now5 days$10,500
Comments
The perfect car for a real estate agent named Phyllis.
Phyllis is in her 50s, has big, blonde hair, wears lots of jewelry, bathes in perfume, and likes flashy clothes. The portraits on her business cards, billboards, and bus stop benches are worthy of Glamour Shots. This car represents Phyllis at her prime, when just a wink of her false eyelashes could net her a sale. These days, she’s traded the false eyelashes for bi-focals, and has to work to make a sale. So, it’s time for Phyllis to get something less flashy, to better suit Phyllis’ less flashy life. She hopes the new owner will treasure the Benzillac as she has.
You can thank the quarantine for that…. I’ve got nothing better to do!
You forgot three inch long fingernails! 🤣
Poor,poor, Phyllis………!!!!!
…and the “enhanced cleavage”….
Sounds like the woman that sold me my house. Her business card head shots were probably 20 years old
Take it to the car pound and have it euthanized!
Its absolutely horrible but so well executed.
.
Are you sure this wasn’t meant to be listed this past Wednesday?
This is the definition of fugly.
A hoodscoop to boot!
Yep, “limited edition” alright. By design.
.
You know, I loved that DeSoto, but this is an abomination. Like alphasud said, euthanize it!
This looks like it should be painted black and driven by Alfred on his way to pick up Batman.
Well, if the fish are already in the barrel, it’s our role to shoot as many of them as possible…right?
One detail on this monstrosity that will haunt me for a while: It not only has the Caddy fins and a Continental Kit, but a trunk spoiler as well. Yikes.
J_Paul,
You have a sharp eye for detail. The ad doesn’t mention specs on the drivetrain or give a 0-60mph time for this vehicle, but it has been my experience that a car- any car – with a spoiler is f-a-s-t with a capital “Q”.
Signed,
EJ
1996 Ford Taurus “GL” with FACTORY spoiler*
* Manufactured up at Ford’s Canada plant**, only a handful of ‘96 Taurus sedans were offered with the “GL” package. Purpose-built for participation in the Great Lakes Ice Racing Circuit, the GL was equipped with the aforementioned spoiler to keep the rear end nailed tight to the slick track surfaces when the V6 power kicked in. Also included was a factory installed 120v block heater, 4 studded tires on aluminum “mag” wheels, and an air conditioner with a “MAX” setting which the seller pointed out could be used in both the “Cold” AND “Hot” setting (necessary to keep driver’s warm in the frigid border winds).
The first owner of this particular car only raced for a season or two before changing to standard tires and placing the studded tires (carefully packaged in plastic bags bearing the name of the shop which did the conversion) in the trunk. With a provenance like that, provided to me by the Taurus’ third owner, I would have been a fool to not pay $10K over Blue Book for a “standard” model of the same age.
** The GL was the only model of Taurus produced at this plant which was available in seven different colors. Anything else rolling off the line could only be had in “Canada Beige”.
I’m guessing the weight distribution is way off from the manufacturer specs now.
What a waste of a nice 1960 Cadillac bumper and lights.
I weep.
Now if he used the back of a ‘58!golden hawk, that would be tasteful. Kinda like one of them hairless cats. Yeah its a cat, but I’m not goin near it!
I don’t see anyone having put 220k miles on this car, in this iteration. What I DO see, though, is someone who took a number of POS-mobiles with 219k miles on an odometer and glued their eyelids shut.
Ugh. The stuff of nightmares. I truly wish I could unsee this thing.
The wing did it in for me.
Hi all . I have a 1991 500 SL and take it show and present it on our Mercedes Benz Club stand. Because there are so many nice cars on one stand my car is just glanced at. Even though it is hideous it would get lot more attention !!
It would not get the type of attention you want.
The most hideous thing is asking $7500.00 for a 1994 Mercedes with 220,000 miles on it.
Mercedes should copy it for next year’s model before Cadillac does with a giant V8. Finally a modern car with some style!
Thank God it’s the only one….
Why. I realize this obviously could be done, but the putz who did this didn’t bother to ask. Should I.
Even Virgil Exner holds his head in shame.
Yea but Harley Earl must be rolling in his grave!
loose that stupid spoiler.
will make it a little less ugly…….
I don’t know if I’d wear a cape while driving it…but I’d surely would wear a bag over my head why driving it
Helping mightily to “keep Portland weird”. Maybe this mashup works there?
Hatofpork, I’d love to hear the story behind your handle!
Ditch the rear deck spoiler, the roll bar and the continental kit, and it almost… almost looks uh, “somewhat” acceptable? Appears to be nicely executed though.
Rather, lose everything behind the front doors.
A listing posted for commentary. Well done.
What a effin horror show
I’ve said it before and it applies here as well….
Sometimes what happens in the barn should stay in the barn.
The name sounds like something for stomach problems..💩🤣 it actually looks well built and your probably never gonna see another one..that’s..maybe..a..good..thing..I think
Demonstrates the difference between knowledge and wisdom:
Knowledge is understanding that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is knowing not to use it in a fruit salad. Ergo, Knowledge is understanding how to blend a Cadillac into a Mercedes; wisdom is knowing not ever to do it.
Satan is making Harley Earl pay for the ’58 Buicks and Oldsmobiles for eternity ……….
The irony of taking a smooth, sophisticated, snobbish Mercedes SL and grafting on one of the most outrageous and uniquely American rear ends is delicious!
As a former fabricator, sometimes the craft takes an unexpected and uncontrollable turn for the worse. In the early 80s, we had a brand new 1979 1/2 ton Econoline LWB cargo van that had virtually every original body line modified. Single powered gull-wing door, a row of matching sunroofs, massive sculpted-in rear roof spoiler and a front end that was nearly unrecognizable. With every ounce of respect we could muster, we called her Mondo-Bondo. As luck and fate would have it, she never saw the paint shop, much less SEMA and was later sold as a grossly under-powered 7500 lb brick with less than 200 miles on the clock. Sometimes, its best to quit while you’re still not to far behind.
Money and good taste doesn’t always follow each other…
One and only? Thank god!
Good Grief!
Drive directly to the crusher. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
Then proceed to the nearest DMV and hand in your driver’s license.
Go directly home and never show your face in public again.
“Look at me! I have way more money than good taste!”
I’ve seen this car in person in Portland over the years. I was built by a talented fabricator who’s now longer with us. His son is selling some of his cars, I bought a 59 Cadillac Coupe DeVille from him last year, pretty close to stock except for the paint scheme.
His shop was named “Sloan’s” and he also owned an adjoining building that his family operated as a bar and grill. On its facade was the front of a flat nose Freightliner truck, complete with working lights. Freightliner would often send him truck cabs that needed custom work, he had an excellent reputation.
I’m sure that he did this benzillac just for fun, and maybe its polarizing looks were part of the equation for him. RIP
I am here in Portlandia and know Sloans well. I wasn’t aware they ever built anything like the Cadzilla. I get around and have never come across this piece.
In the summer months it would sometimes be parked outside the body shop section of the building. Mr. Sloan also had a 70’s Lincoln MKII that he built into a pickup, I remember seeing that one too.
Lincoln MKV, that is….
Johnny cash is suing from the other side,for misappropriation of his song .
This car represents what I have considered to be true for some time that some people have all their taste behind their teeth. This thing makes the Pontiac Aztec look good and that is faint praise indeed. I wonder what the other misguided children in the asylum have made with their time.
There are somethings you wish you could un-see. Like the short 400 Pound woman at the nude beach. I wonder a lobotomy could help. Hmmmmmmm.
Do I buy a classic Pacer or the Benzillac? Hmmm…. tough choice but I think I’ll choose the Pacer.
Such a tastefully executed and classy car, and then they have to go and ruin it with those gaudy gold line tires!
I was going to buy it until I saw that tear in the upholstery. Never mind.
best photo is the last one…under the cover so you can’t see it….
Two possibilities for the future for this. Either donate it for a charity auction where the bidders bid to leave it to someone else who doesnt want it but would have to keep it for the year, or better, use it as another post in the Cadillac Ranch fence.
That is one of the funniest things that I have ever read !!!
Thank you 🤣
Who knows why this was done, but a dream a vision and talent went into it. Perhaps it was the result of someone’s dislike for both Mercedes and finned Cadillac’s. It’s a done project and we’ve all installed it in our memory cells. Someone will like this and be proud to own it. Above is my 64 Riviera, this is truly a car of beauty and I sure wouldn’t want find on it.
God bless America
That’s a beauty, Johnmloghry.
Thank you sir, but the engine compartment does need a deep clean.
I am actually at a loss for words!
Well, welcome to the bizarre. I agree with the person who said lose the continental kit, the wing, and the overhead bar, paint the car a dark color, leave the interior color alone because it’s neutral and will work with practically any exterior color, get rid of the wheels and try another design, blackwalls, what we’re doing here is calming the extreme about the car and see what it looks like after spending a ridiculous amount of money on it.
Then slowly open a bottle of booze………….
Agreed. Can someone photoshop this car into black where the yellow is and put some stock Benz wheels on it? That might be an interesting look…
“Hey Honey! I’m bored…..I’m taking Uncle Joey’s ’60 Caddy and sticking it on the back end of your ’94 320 SL, okay? No….just the back-end. Oh and I’m gonna steal the handbasket off a Porsche Targa and put that in like it’s a rollbar.”
“Honey?……….Honey?……What’s with those suitcases? Where ya goin?”
And this is why the 4 lb hammer was invented along with naughty kids ……
My bet this started life as a Mercedes hit hard in the back, or a Caddie hit hard in the front…
Kill it with fire or nuke it from orbit…take your pick.
Remember that commercial “this is your brain, this is your brain on drugs”?
Apply the photo of this car in the second part of that sentence.
Yikes! Well…like they say in the car biz, there’s an ass for every seat. Somewhere in this world there’s an ass for this one too.
I have never seen so many comments on a car. Unfortunately most seem to be negative. Being a Cadillac lover, it hurts me to see Beautiful Cadillac fins on MB.
Reminds me of the Homer designed monkey mobile
Right On!!
Homer Simpson designed it First…
OH NO – something you can’t un-see – and I looked at the pictures
Just because you CAN do a thing, does NOT mean you SHOULD do a thing..
I had a dream, but—i’m sorry; i completely forgot it. What? I—
On the other hand….. .If you rate Barn Find cars by the number of comments they generate, this Benzillac should easily make the top ten list. And it must have *some* fans out there, like Liberace impersonators maybe. :-) :-)
Everyone is missing the point on the spoiler. When you hit 160 mph it keeps the back end down . The continental kit pops up like an air dam at speed and helps you control it after the run. I saw the movie…………..
Pimps, pool your resources and buy this car!!! I can’t tell if it is an optical illusion, but the right rear Caddy fender seems to be canted more than the driver’s side in the photo taken directly from the back. Also, the most hideous angle…
This thread is a perfect example of the fact that most Americans don’t understand a joke unless someone tells them it was a joke.
And in this case, a jolly well executed one.
If I can still count correctly there were 80 comments–show me a Mustang or Corvette that will generate 80 comments. I buy cars that no one else has or will ever will have–I only buy them because they drive people nuts–80 comments is proof this is a perfect car to drive people over the edge. The Benzillac will be displayed next to my Tucker. A Tucker is another car very few people own.
You are a load of hooey. Let’s see pictures of yourself next to your Tucker.
If it’s comments your’e after, you could always paint it pink with tiger stripes. There’s only one of these rolling aberrations on earth, and I think I know why. Folks will compliment your Tucker. Folks will “comment” on this thing. Either way you’ll get the attention you crave.
I’d call BS. Nobody with the good taste to own an original Tucker would even dream of having this atrocity in the same garage.
He owns a Tucker!!! Bwa ha ha ha ha bbwwaaaa ha ha ha. Dam that’s good one!! Bwwwaahhaaa. Lol
I can see it now! na na na na naaaaa CRACKMAN!
The transport company is scheduled to pick up the Benzillac by the end of the week and it will be on its way East to meet Preston our Tucker. I will gladly enclose a picture of the two together upon the new toys arrival.
No need to send pics